I heard we made out
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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