I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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