Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was like getting head from an anaconda
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
