Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
