I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
