I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
