i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
