I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
