I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
