Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
