big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
