Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
