You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
