she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
