It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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