If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
