and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
