i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
