Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Green mimosas i think yes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
