Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who put my cat in the fridge?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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