you would pick up someone in the library
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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