she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
