using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
