Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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