Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
