I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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