Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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