I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
