i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
