You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I look better un-naked...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
