you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
