How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just want to make out with him forever
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
