Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
