dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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