it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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