Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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