highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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