U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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