Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
vagina is talking i cant
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
