so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
