let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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