google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
