Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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