I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
