A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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