I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize