I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
