whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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