Are we in a gay sports bar?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
