I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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