As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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