Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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