Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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