with your own penis?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
not ubering you a puppy
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