i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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