So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
