Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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