Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
