I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
