She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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