Kiss
Puke
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
