so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
