shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
